Today has been a hard day. I woke up feeling sick. Not just pregnancy sick, but sick with a cold. Henri has a cold too so I decided that we would stay home from church. Charles went, but I told him to keep his phone on him in case I needed him. My first text message went like this, (WARNING: do not read if you feel sick at all!) "Throwing up while holding Henri's poopy bottom in the air is not fun." The second, "...aaaand Henri just threw up too..." Charles didn't even get that one until he was home, bless his heart.
I have been planning on writing a blog post about how this pregnancy has been going. The title, "For Charles." The subtitle something like, "So that when I want to get pregnant when this next baby is six months old and Charles looks at me like I am crazy then I won't just think he is being insensitive."
Does this tell you how this pregnancy has been going?
This picture is the only documentation of the bruise I got on my cheek from passing out while Charles was at work. Also pictured is the reason for my smile. (Don't I look skinny? I have been on a diet.)
Okay, I am 18 weeks today and I feel tired. Not physically (well, yeah, physically too) but emotionally. I keep thinking to myself, "I don't know how much longer I can do this." It is hard that I am 18 weeks with only the occasional okay day, and really the only end in sight being February 19. So, after an uncomfortable day I cried. Not the pretty type of crying, with tears running down your cheeks, but the ugly type of crying with sobs accompanied by coughs and dry heaves and an extremely runny nose. Not a pretty sight. Since I need to get something into my stomach right before bed I have stayed up after Charles went to sleep watching "Drop Dead Diva" and trying to think of something to eat.
For the past few nights I have also been feeling some cramping. I was sitting on the couch worrying a little bit and wondering if I should reschedule my doctor's appointment from the middle of the week to tomorrow.
At that moment as I was looking down at my little bump I felt a distinct nudge. A little kick from this little miracle that is coming to my family telling me that everything is fine. Everything is fine with it. And that everything is going to be fine with me. I am grateful for this tender mercy. I really needed it tonight. I am grateful to remember that miracles do happen, even if they aren't the miracles that I have been thinking about. I am grateful to a Heavenly Father who is mindful of my needs and who will bless me so that I can endure my trials more cheerfully and faithfully. So, I have ended my day that has been full of tears of frustration and discouragement with tears of peace and joy and gratitude. Tomorrow will be a good day.
Oh, Emily, I love you!
ReplyDeleteI hope it gets better for you soon. Congrats on being pregnant though. That's awesome!
ReplyDeleteHang in there, Emily! You're handling this all like a champ.
ReplyDeleteAnd whats this about passing out? That's something I can definitely commiserate with, as you know all too well.
I wish we lived by each other so I could come help! What a good mom you are dealing with poop and vomit while sick yourself. I hope you both get feeling better real soon.
ReplyDeleteso sorry you're having a hard time, but glad that baby could show you things are okay.
ReplyDeletelove you! feel better soon.
Feel better soon! There's nothing much worse than being pregnancy sick and also regular sick.
ReplyDeleteah shoot, I wish I had read this before calling you. I totally monopolized the conversation and was too busy with kids to hardly hear what you were saying. Sorry I wasn't more consoling. Deep breaths-GGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOO EMI!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm SOOO sorry you haven't felt good with this pregnancy! But congrats on being pregnant. Just take it one day at a time, I hope it doesn't last too much longer. We're thinking of you! On a happier note, Henri is absolutely adorable! I can't believe how big he's getting.
ReplyDeletePregnancy is hard sometimes. The discomfort but also the hormonal changes and then feeling very emotional. I still have it fresh in my mind! (And Henri is now almost 6 months) I felt like being pregnant with Henri was way more hard, than when I was pregnant with Emma. Probably because I had another child to take care of, and couldn't rest when ever I wanted to.
ReplyDeleteBut it's still such a miraculous feeling and amazing blessing to be able to be pregnant!
Hang in there. It will get better, when you get further along. :)
Two children I meant to say, sorry.
ReplyDeleteOh cousin, I am so sorry. Being pregnant is truly the pits. I don't know how we keep doing it! I know the feeling of no end in sight and i completely empathize with you.
ReplyDeleteThe Lord truly is merciful. Most of the time he will not take our burdens away, but somehow allow us to survive them. On February 19th, you will look back wondering how on earth you did it, but knowing that you did will be a miracle.